Pride and Progress

FM Conway's National Inclusion Week 2025

My partner and I took the decision to get married by civil partnership, soon after it became legal for LGBTQ+ people to do so.

It was still high season for weddings; however, we were luckily afforded a weekday lunchtime slot at our local Manor House, which doubled as a Registry Office.

It was 12 years ago now, but I can still vividly remember that lovely, sunny September afternoon.

Of course, the world was a very different place then. To illustrate some of the changes: at work, I did not feel comfortable enough to divulge how I planned to attend a civil partnership ceremony with my partner in my lunchtime. Other than asking for an extended lunch break, no one knew about the ceremony.

I can remember looking nervously out the window in the office, waiting for my partner to arrive. I was sweating as she was a little late, and I remember thinking to myself, ‘Oh no, we’re going to miss our slot’. We didn’t, of course. We managed to arrive just on time, but it had crossed my mind!

I had got changed into my suit in the ladies’ toilets and made a hasty exit down the stairs and out the door in order to avoid being seen by anyone. As she pulled up, I quickly dove into the car, hoping no one saw me.

We arrived for the ceremony, with our two witnesses already there, said our vows, and when it was over, our witnesses took some splendid photos in the garden. We were able to spend a few hurried minutes together before we both had to go back to work!

When I arrived back at the office, I quickly changed into my work clothes, sat back down at my desk and continued with my work duties, just as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened and it was a completely normal day.

Today, of course, it would be entirely different. If I were planning a civil partnership ceremony, I would feel much more relaxed and happier talking with colleagues about my partner, and my forthcoming plans, including something as momentous as a civil partnership ceremony. I am certain that not only would people around me be supportive, but it would also be considered ordinary, ‘the norm’, and part of everyday life.

Now, at work, I feel able to talk about how I spent the weekend with my partner on a Monday morning in ordinary conversation, just as everyone else does, without fear or any repercussion, or that terrible sinking feeling that I’m sure many people have experienced—of being ‘discovered’ or having to hide feelings or avoid certain topics of conversation.